


Hey, Mr Postman

by zora_kun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Dildos, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Implied Kiyoko Shimizu/Yachi Hitoka - Freeform, Implied Kuroo Tetsurou/Kouzume Kenma, Iwaizumi is a postman, M/M, Masturbation, MatsuHana wingmen, Mutual Pining, Nudity, Oikawa is a thot, Pining, Postman AU, Top Iwaizumi Hajime, Wingmen, broke college students, iwaizumi is dense, iwaoi - Freeform, matsuhana - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-08-13 16:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zora_kun/pseuds/zora_kun
Summary: Iwaizumi doesn’t hate his job as a postman. He doesn’t particularly love it either. Well, he didn’t, until a particular boy started ordering more and more packages...





	1. A Knock at the Door

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’m Miku. This is my first ever published fic, so I hope you all enjoy it! Be sure to leave criticism in the comments so I can improve :) 
> 
> Hopefully more to come!

Oikawa dragged himself off of the sofa to answer the door. He prepared himself to give a snarky response to whoever was knocking at this hour, yanking open the door with a yawn. Tears pooled at the corners of Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes, and as his vision cleared his face became instantly flushed.

***

“I’m only excited because my package came,” 

He convinced himself for the third time in the last five minutes. He sat there, staring at his new ‘I WANT TO BELIEVE’ shirt. 

“Only because of the package.” 

He repeated, as though it’d come true if he repeated it enough times. 

Oikawa proceeded to order another terrible graphic tee, repeating the phrase yet again. 

***

“Another one for this address?”

Iwaizumi mused to himself. Oh well, it’s not as though it’s any trouble to him, of course. It’s his job. That’s the only reason he enjoys dropping off these particular packages. Obviously.

Iwaizumi pulls up outside the college students’ apartment, straightening his collar up as though the pretty brown haired boy, who he knew would answer the door, even cared what he was wearing. His rough knocks echoed throughout the small apartment, and he heard someone scramble to their feet and rush to the door.

“Hiya, package for...”

Iwaizumi’s gruff voice trailed off. Mr Oikawa Tooru, as the package label read, was standing in the doorway in only a towel, hanging low on his slim hips. He had defined abs, and when he shifted you could see the muscles sliding under his smooth, milky skin. Water dripped down from the sharp cut crevasses that were his collarbones, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but imagine what it’d be like to run his tongue-

“Um, excuse me?”

The dripping boy in the doorway asked, as though he didn’t realise how stupidly sexy he looked right now. Iwaizumi was ripped away from his daydreams, his face instantly covered in a dark red blush. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, this is a package for Mr Oikawa Tooru?”

Iwaizumi stated, pretending that he wasn’t already familiar with the boy’s name, his face, his soft hair that always looked perfect no matter how tousled it was-

“Oh yeah! Thanks. Sorry about this, also,” he said, gesturing to his naked upper half as though it was nothing, “I just finished showering,”

He smiled at Iwaizumi, a genuine, adorable smile that made his heart swell. Iwaizumi returned the gesture, not realising that his smile had the same effect on the tall man in the doorway.

He couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit sad as Oikawa shut the door.

***

“MAKKI-CHAN!”

Oikawa screamed into his phone at his good friend.

“Yes Oikawa, that’s my name,”

The pastel-haired boy muttered back, slightly annoyed that Oikawa had decided to spontaneously call him for the fifth time this week. It didn’t take him long to figure out what the other boy was going to talk about. 

“Oh, Makki-chan, the delivery boy came again! And you’ll never guess what!!” Hanamaki could hear Oikawa cackling to himself, sounding more horny than malicious.

“What’d you do this time, Oikawa?” He said, deciding to not even imagine what havoc this gay mess of a boy had wreaked.

“I answered the door with no shirt on!”

Oikawa heard a small bleep as Hanamaki cut the phone on him.

“Makki-chan is a terrible person!” Oikawa cried indignantly, to no one in particular.

His apartment felt lonely, with only one person living there. 

***

A call from Iwaizumi? Matsukawa thought it was strange. Iwaizumi-san usually wouldn’t call him unless it was really important. Matsukawa decided to tease him, whatever the topic was. 

“Mattsun?”

Matsukawa smirked to himself.

“Yes, Iwaizumi? What is it this time? Got a huge gay crush and you need a wingman?”

He chuckled.

“Uhhh, yeah, actually. Did Hanamaki tell you?”

The smirk instantly fell off of Matsukawa’s face. 

“I- well, uhhh... I mean I was actually joking, but I, um, good on you, Iwaizumi-san. Now, then. Who is it?”

It’d been a while since Iwaizumi had heard his calm, collected friend sound quite so... mischievous. Like an excitable schoolgirl.

“It’s this boy that I’ve been delivering packages to for a while now. He orders so many, I see him almost every other day! He’s just so...” Iwaizumi blushed at the thought of admitting it.

“Just so... beautiful,”

It was Iwaizumi’s turn to sound like an excitable schoolgirl.

“I think he must be studying astrology, or something. He orders a lot of space themed stuff. Not that I’ve been snooping, I mean-“

“Iwaizumi, what’s this boy’s name?”

“Why?”

“Just tell me, okay,”

“Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru,”

Matsukawa’s jaw almost hit the ground. He had a few phone calls to make.

***

“MAKKI-CHAN!”

Hanamaki was greeted by yet another screaming caller, for the second time today. This time it was Matsukawa.

“Yes, Mattsun. What is it?” He was getting real tired of conversing with people at this point, but although he’d never tell Matsukawa, he could make an exception for him. 

“You’re not gonna believe this,” Matsukawa said excitedly, feeling decidedly thrilled for the first time in a while.

“I don’t know, man. I’ve heard a lotta shit today,”

“No like, I mean, this is real shit.”

“Like, hoes mad level shit?”

“Yeah, man. Hoes mad level shit,”

“Okay then, bro. Hit me.” Matsukawa had significantly improved Hanamaki’s mood at this point.

“Iwaizumi has a crush on Oikawa,” Mattsun blurted out.

“BRO,” 

“YEAH BRO,”

“YOU KNOW WHAT OIKAWA-SAN SAID TO ME EARLIER, BRO?”

“NO, BRO,”

“HE’S GOT A CRUSH ON IWAIZUMI TOO, BRO,”

“BROOOOOOOO,”

“YEAH, BRO, WE’RE WINGMEN NOW!”

***


	2. Empty Pockets, Full Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MatsuHana are up to their usual schemes, except this time they also involve the unfortunate Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! I really didn’t expect this fic to do so well, considering the fact it’s my first. If you’re a MatsuHana fan, I’m sure this chapter will please your heart. Sorry the update is a day late, I’m a bit of an airhead! Anyway, enjoy!

Matsukawa was sitting on his bed, legs crossed, expression also relatively cross. Hanamaki was late to their scheming session, despite the fact he was the one to suggest it. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Matsukawa had something of a soft spot for his close friend Hanamaki. Maybe he could forgive lateness, if it was Makki who was late. 

Around ten minutes later, a smug looking pastel-haired boy showed up at the door. Matsukawa’s favourite smug looking pastel-haired boy. Hanamaki invited himself in with a grin, tossing off his shoes and bounding up the stairs on his lanky legs. By the time Matsukawa had joined him, the other boy was already face-down on his bed.

“Mattsun, your sheets smell really nice. They smell like you,” Hanamaki said, his voice muffled by the duvet. 

Matsukawa had never been so glad that Hanamaki was face down in the sheets, lest Makki saw his flushed face at the comment. 

“Makki, we’re not here to contemplate the smell of my sheets. We’re here for a far greater purpose.” Said Mattsun, a hint of pride at his matchmaker job evident in his voice. He was proud of how well he covered up his embarrassment.

“Oh, how could I forget!” Hanamaki said, his voice laced with malicious (and most likely homosexual) intent. 

***

At the exact same time, but a short distance away, Oikawa sat in the gloom of his bedroom. Piles of packaging littered his room, from all manner of random packages he’d been ordering the past few weeks. His fingers blurred furiously across his keyboard as he typed up his latest report on the existence of aliens. 

“Imagine being sooooo stupid and having such a tiny little bean brain that you can’t even comprehend extra-terrestrial life. Ugh.” He mused to himself, huffing and puffing in irritation at the ignorance of some people. 

Oikawa wished he had someone to talk to about all the things he was passionate about. 

Ever since he’d learnt how to talk, Oikawa had often vocalised his passion for space and aliens. Of course, he probably had a passion way before then, he just couldn’t spout space trivia because he simply couldn’t speak. Sure, he was a broke college student now, but all he had to do was get noticed online, something, anything-

He broke himself out of that train of thought. Now wasn’t the time to be melancholic about his dreams. Maybe he’d think about that cute delivery boy instead. Now that was much better. 

Oikawa absent-mindedly re-opened his eBay tab and went to order another gaudy graphic space tee. As he imagined the sharp curve of the man’s jaw, that sexy glint in those bottomless hazel eyes, he hit purchase, thrilled to his core that he’d get to see the other boy again very soon.

He was snapped straight out of that daydream after he checked his bank balance. 

“FUCK FUCK FUCK,” cussed Oikawa.

“I NEVER EVEN GOT TO ASK HIS NAME, AND NOW I’M TOTALLY BROKE!”

***

Several hours later, Matsukawa and Hanamaki still laid side by side on the bed, staring at the ceiling. They were truly proud of the plan they’d put together, even if it did use up all their remaining brain cells.

“Dude, I don’t even know how this is gonna go,” Hanamaki giggled.

“Cmon, dude, this literally can’t fail. We are actual geniuses, I’m not even joking,” Matsukawa said in response, equally pumped to carry out their plan.

“Okay, but we’re buying it on your account. I’m not having that on my digital footprint.” He laughed even harder this time, a pure, joyful laugh.

“Pfff, those two are so gay. Totally already a couple,” 

Matsukawa failed to see the irony of his statement, his heart fluttering at the sound of Hanamaki’s wonderful laugh.

“Hey, Makki-chan? Are there any sounds that you hear all the time, yet every time they’re just as happy and wonderful as the first time? And it’s like, your favourite sound ever, and you just wanna listen to it all the time..” Matsukawa’s voice trailed off. His cheeks were dusted light pink with embarrassment.

“Hm? I have no idea where that came from, but I totally get what you mean.” The pink-haired boy said, smiling a tiny smile that even his best friend couldn’t see. 

“I’m glad, Makki-chan.”

***

Iwaizumi was pretty shocked. And that was saying something. It was difficult to rattle him, what with his steadfast nature.

“I mean, that’s one way to find out your crush is gay...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I’ll update again in a week (hopefully). Don’t forget to leave a comment and tell me how I can improve!


	3. Cheap Graphic T-Shirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even a tiny flat feels huge when you’re lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is like, two weeks late. I included some smutty stuff at the end to make up for it. Enjoy the MatsuHana while we wait for the other two to get their shit together!

In a whirlwind of rage, Oikawa stormed into his bedroom. He kicked the edge of his desk in fury, only to instantly recoil as his foot made impact with the solid wood,

“FUCK!”

His scream rang out through the house. He was going to kill those fuckers next time he saw them.

He needed to rant, and who better to rant to than his fellow college student, Kuroo Tetsurou.

***

“Kuroo, I’m upset, devastated, annoyed, hurt-“

“Shut up Oikawa. Get on with it, I haven’t got all day,”

“Don’t lie to me. All you’re going to do after this phone call is eat trash and be lovesick for Kenma.”

“Exactly. I don’t have all day.” Kuroo said decisively.

“Fine! Well Matsukawa and Hanamaki played an awful prank on me, I’ll never recover from this-“ Oikawa was droning on again. 

Kuroo cursed himself for befriending this egotistical idiot.

***

(Yesterday)

Iwaizumi stood in front of Oikawa’s door, in shock. He was surprised, but very pleasantly so. It felt weird saying that, standing in front of his crushes’ door with an indiscreetly packaged, highly inappropriate item in hand. Now this was an interesting discovery.

Knock knock knock

Iwaizumi heard his knock ring out through the little apartment, a familiar sound at this point. Soft footsteps approached the door, getting faster, seemingly excited to have a visitor. 

Little did Iwaizumi know, Oikawa was most certainly NOT expecting a delivery.

The first thing he saw as he looked downwards was the face of his favourite delivery boy, and a smile and blush instantly crept up his pale cheeks. The blush quickly became an intense, tomato-coloured indication of strong embarrassment as he saw what the delivery boy was holding.

“OHMYGOSH I’M SO SORRY I-“

Oikawa babbled as he snatched the package and instantly slammed the door.

***

“And, Kuroo, that was when I noticed that he was holding AN EIGHT INCH DILDO!”

Oikawa just heard a wheezy cackle as he finished relaying his story to Kuroo, quickly escalating into complete hysteria as his friend imagined the scenario.

Kuroo went to make a smug comment, but just heard a beep as Oikawa hung up on him.

“I need new friends.” Oikawa stated plainly, deciding never to trust anyone ever again.

***

Sitting alone on his creaky armchair, cup of coffee in hand, Iwaizumi pondered why this tiny flat felt so big and empty. Perhaps it was loneliness, perhaps it was pining. Pining for who, exactly? Well, that was a question he’d answer when he came to it.

He refused to acknowledge the fact that he had most certainly come to the question multiple times already. Well, he finally had a week off, so there was no point wasting it being lonely.

He could fix the loneliness, he just had to man up and get a boyfriend.

Obviously.

He went to sleep Sunday night with thoughts of a possibly less-empty flat.

***

Wriggling in his chair, Oikawa was absolutely tingling with the prospect of ordering another package. He’d saved up some money by living on instant ramen for the week. He could make it up to the delivery boy by inviting him in for coffee, apologising profusely, and explaining what his terrible friends did to him. 

“It’s a perfect plan! Of course. I came up with it.” He giggled to himself.

What should I order this time? The pretty boy considered, tucking his legs up to his chin like he always did when concentrating. The heaps of cheap packaging and equally cheap graphic tee shirts reminded him of the sheer amount of packages he’d been ordering. He found an interesting space-themed poster and added it to his eBay basket.

He pretended that it mattered to him what he ordered. 

He could only keep pretending for so long.

***

Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his spiky hair, reclining into the booth seat of his favourite café. Matsukawa and Hanamaki sat opposite him, exchanging mischievous glances. They’d planned ahead for this moment, of course. When you spend all your time with a particular person, you end up getting a lot of thinking done. Hanamaki knew he had to concentrate on getting Iwaizumi to spill the beans about the the package they’d sent, but it was rather difficult to think properly with Matsukawa’s warm thigh touching his own. He could feel the others boy’s heat, even through their faded jeans.

But now wasn’t the time to savour that.

“Soooo, Iwaizumi. How’s the part time job going?” Hanamaki felt Mattsun nudge his side a little. Totally not distracting.

“Why do you ask? Usually all you’re concerned about is if I have a boyfriend yet, and/or how broke you are.” Iwaizumi said, a hint of suspicion in his gruff voice.

Shit, shit, shit

Matsukawa and Hanamaki exchanged glances, and then Mattsun spoke.

“You’re right, but I guess we’re just being thoughtful for once,”

Well done Mattsun, stability has been restored, Hanamaki thought to himself.

“Hmmm.” Iwaizumi grunted, his voice still laced with suspicion. “Well, it’s funny you ask, something really weird happened on my last day of work this week,”

Bingo!

They’d hit the jackpot.

***

As always, Oikawa was alone in his apartment. The soft blue light of his screen reflected in his wide eyes. Suddenly, he paused the alien documentary he was watching and let the silence of his room sink into his cold, exposed chest. He reached for the bottle of lube beside his monitor. He said he wouldn’t do it, but tentatively, he traced his long, slim fingers down to the delicate trail of hair that lead to his length.

He slowly thumbed the slit at the end of his cock, sending shivers of pleasure up and down his spine. He pictured the sharp jawline and rough features of a man a little shorter than him, lubricating his hand with the slick precum that trickled from his penis. Heat spread down his groin as he pictured those broad shoulders, those strong arms, taking long strokes up and down, from shaft to tip. His cheeks were flushed red, and his milky skin was tinged with the heat of arousal. He imagined this man’s muscles sliding under his tan skin, his muscular thighs and-

Before Oikawa knew it he was panting, mind blank, lewd noises escaping from his lips as he rode out his orgasm, hips trembling and cock twitching.

Post-nut clarity was soon upon him, and as he cleaned the semen off his chair he realised exactly who he’d just violently beaten his meat to.

Oikawa couldn’t deny his feelings any longer.

It was time to stop pretending.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This the first ever jerking off scene I’ve written. Was it any good? Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, see you next week! (Hopefully, if I’m less of a mess)


	4. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do we crave caffeine? Perhaps because we’re tired? Because it tastes nice? Or maybe we drink it for the sake of it, because we miss someone that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upload schedule????? What is that??????? I only know impulse-writing 1000 words at 2am because you’re hype about season 4. KuroKen lovers I’ve decided to feed you also.

Pacing. Up and down, from wall to wall, twiddling his thumbs like a small, bored child. It was supposed to be Iwaizumi’s week off, and yet, he didn’t even know what to do with himself. He could call up some of his old volleyball friends from high school, perhaps, but something was stopping him. He wasn’t pining for old friends, in fact, he wasn’t pining for friendship at all. Iwaizumi wanted something much more than that.

He knew that. Of course, it was the most obvious thing in the world, as though it was scrawled upon his forehead in messy handwriting. “I’M LONELY. PLEASE DATE ME.” 

Well, when he put it like that, it sounded rather sad. But then, that was his college life. He delivered parcels, and drunk coffee, and revised, and tried to decide what to do with his life. Is this what I’m supposed to do forever? He considered. Well, Iwaizumi, he said to himself, you can’t just drink coffee and listen to sad songs for the rest of your life!

Of course. It was the most obvious thing in the world. It was as though someone was sending signals... someone telling him that life could be so much more than this.

But not right now. Right now he was craving coffee.

***

“Makki, would you do, like, y’know..”

“No I don’t know. You have to actually tell me, moron.”

“I wasn’t finished! Shut up. I was gonna say, would you have sympathy-sex with me?”

Oikawa seemed to be over the dildo incident. 

“I don’t even know what that is, but still no.”

“I’m cute though! And horny. I have no one to have sex with Makki, please, help me out? Just this once??”

“You’re gross, Oikawa.”

“Is it because you’re a bottom too?”

“I’m not gay, you slimy bastard.”

“So you are a bottom?”

“SHUT UP!”

“Or is it because you’d rather have ‘friend sex’ (minus the friend part because you’re basically dating) with Mattsun?”

Makki glared at Oikawa in such a way that he instantly shut his mouth, lest he get walloped. 

It was a wise decision on Oikawa’s behalf.

***

“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PACKAGE?” Oikawa bellowed at his wall.

The dried chunks of blu-tack were unresponsive.

It had only been two days since he’d ordered the poster, but Oikawa was already violently impatient. He had a lecture to get to in ten minutes, and he wanted and excuse to be late. Coffee with a sexy delivery boy seemed perfect. 

This excuse, however, relied on a certain delivery boy arriving within convenient college student hours. He was a student too, he must have just been a lucky shit with later lectures. Oikawa whined at no one in particular.

“The universe is CONSPIRING against me. I want to make it up to the delivery boy for ordering a DILDO and embarrassing him, which I DIDN’T EVEN ORDER, and he WON’T EVEN ARRIVE!”

Then there was a knock. 

An unfamiliar knock.

Oikawa hastened to the door, swinging it open violently. 

“Oh. Where’s my normal delivery boy?”

As usual, the pretty boy had absolutely no filter. The woman in the doorway with his package seemed slightly dumbfounded.

“I, uh, don’t know. It’s probably his week off or something, we’re all part timers anyway..”

She was cute, with wide brown eyes and shoulder length blonde hair. She was tiny compared to Oikawa, and her little ponytail, adorned with a star clip, made her seem approachable. She was nice, but she wasn’t the delivery boy.

“Hm. Well, I guess it can’t be helped.” He whined, taking the package and shutting the door in her face. Oikawa wasn’t particularly considerate to anyone, except Iwaizumi Hajime. Perhaps a flaw of character, but not so much if you happen to be Iwaizumi.

“FUCK YOU FUCKING STUPID PART TIMER SEXY IDIOT DELIVERY BOY!” Oikawa bellowed yet again to the chunks of blu-tack on the wall. 

They were still as unresponsive as ever.

He slammed the poster down on the table, chugging his coffee and slamming the mug down just as violently as before. He also violently slammed the door behind him, as he rushed off to his lecture.

He was so attached to this boy who’s name he didn’t even know. 

***

Kuroo sighed as he hung up the phone, glad that Oikawa had finally decided to shut up. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 7:32pm. All of his lectures for the day were finished, and it wasn’t like he had anything else to do, other than miss Kenma or listen to Oikawa whine about The Delivery Boy™️.

And he really, really missed Kenma.

His college was only ten minutes away, yet if he were to see his sharp little features and pudding-cup hair again, he’d surely fall in love instantly for the thousandth time. 

Not that he wasn’t currently in love, so his situation seemed rather miserable. He sent Kenma another text.

How was your day? (7:35pm)

He knew it’d probably go unanswered, because Kenma probably had better things to do that talk to him. He scratched the head of the cat that was sprawled out next to him, perhaps finding so much comfort in it simply because cats reminded him of Kenma. 

There was something so lonely about unanswered text messages. Kuroo stared at the message until it simply became messy handwriting, until it felt as though the words were engraved into his forehead.

“I’M LONELY. PLEASE DATE ME.” They said.

“I’m too tired for this shit.” Kuroo murmured to himself, as he brewed another cup of coffee.

***

A mere ten minutes away, a sharp-featured boy, with hair the colour of pudding, also brewed a cup of coffee.

It wasn’t his first, either.

He was ignoring the buzz of his phone, worried that even tapping out a response to the text would bring back the feelings he’d shut away. 

He smiled a little, as a black cat wound around his ankles. 

Maybe cats provided him so much comfort, simply because they reminded Kenma of the person he loved so much.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pining,,,, damn they’re really pining,,,,,,,,, 
> 
> Be sure to comment anything else you wanna see :) there should be some nice smut next chapter too.


	5. The Sound of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t ever let these boys have alcohol again. Chaos will ensue when irresponsible, lovesick college students get unreasonably drunk. And horny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapter is on time for once in my life. Also it’s 1,800 words because I started writing KuroKen and I couldn’t help myself. Enjoy!

Iwaizumi sat behind the steering wheel, completely dumbfounded at the sheer stupidity of his friends. He didn’t sign up for drunk man-child babysitting duty. Mattsun sat in the back of his car, slurring his words as he attempted to convey some kind of meaning to his irritated friend.

“You’re the best mate..” Mattsun slurred cheerily.

“Shut up Mattsun. Why couldn’t you get someone else to pick you up?” Iwaizumi said, his words also slightly slurred, but that was because it was 3am, and he’d dragged himself out of bed to pick up this idiot.

“Well...” it took Matsukawa a moment to gather his thoughts. Unsurprising, really, considering the amount of alcohol he’d just consumed. “Makki-chan would probably kill me if I woke him up... plus, he’s cute when he’s asleep...”

Iwaizumi made no comment. Matsukawa’s adoration for his pastel-haired friend went without saying.

“Bokuto can’t drive and Akaashi would just lecture me...”

Well, Iwaizumi didn’t know who either of them were, but he thought that a lecture was needed here. He, however, certainly wasn’t going to give it.

“And Oikawa is probably drunk too. Not that he can drive anyway.”

“Who?”

“Oikawa?”

“What the fuck- why do you know EVERYONE that I do?” 

There was no response from Mattsun, other than a small gagging noise as he spontaneously threw up in the back of Iwaizumi’s car. 

“Oh for fucks sake-“

***

“Matsukawa? What the fuck are you doing at my dorm?” Hanamaki was lost for words. Mattsun often left him lost for words, but for reasons entirely other than showing up at his house at 4 in the morning, extremely drunk.

“Iwa-chan dropped me here! He said there’s no way I’m going back to my own house in this state..” Matsukawa blinked through his dense, black eyelashes, straight into Makki’s eyes.

“Hmf. Well, I can’t just leave you out here in the cold. Not that I want you in my dorm or anything though.”

_Oh, well done Takahiro, now you sound like a shoujo manga protagonist and an asshole._

Mattsun stumbled across the threshold of the dorms, tripping forwards and draping himself across the shoulders of his best friend. The other boy’s face was instantly lobster-red, as he felt Mattsun’s warm breath tickle his neck, his soft hair brushing his collarbone- 

“A-ah. Mattsukawa-san!” Makki said breathily. He was disappointed that he let that tiny moan escape his lips, but glad hat he’d inspired Mattsun to lift up his lanky form.

Just as Hanamaki began to think everything was under control, he remembered that he’d have to travel up two flight of stairs to reach his dorm room. It was either carry Mattsun up that, or go into the elevator, alone, with him. 

Makki had a tough decision to make. 

***

Somewhere across campus, Kuroo was also drunkenly struggling to open his dorm room door. He’d met one of his classmates at the bar, and Matsukawa-san had actually turned out to be a really fun (and gay) guy. So of course, as you do, they’d decided to get ridiculously drunk and then talk about boys. In hindsight, perhaps the talk of boys should’ve come before they’d got drunk. 

Now Kuroo was in his dorm, he kicked off his shoes and threw himself face-down on the bed. He yanked his phone out of his pocket, and did exactly as Matsukawa had said he should-

He phoned Kenma.

“Eh? Kuroo-san, it’s 4am. Did you need me?” His voice was cute, in a sleepy kind of way. It sent a little chill down Kuroo’s spine, because he’d missed his dear friend so much.

“Kenma!” He slurred excitedly.

Kenma had experienced drunk Kuroo many times, from their graduation party, to that high school sleepover where he’d managed to get his hands on some of his parents’ beer. 

Those were good times.

“Yes, Kuroo-san. It’s me.” He said quietly, trying not to wake his roommate, and also trying to hide the excitement in his voice. He knew somewhere within him that Kuroo would never let him drift away. 

“Kenma!! I’m so happy to hear you...”

Kenma let the silence linger, a small smile crossing his pale face.

“I’ve been drinking Kenma, if you can tell, and you know what? I was talking to one of my classmates, and he’s a really cool guy- hold on, that’s off topic..” Kuroo fumbled for his words for a second, trying to form a solid thought out of his groggy brain.

Kenma thought his drunken rambling was kind of cute.

“Oh! That’s it! Matsukawa-san told me to stop waiting, and that you’d never understand if I never told you!” Kuroo was stumbling over his words, so eager to say it.

“Told me what?” Kenma’s voice maintained its usual monotony, yet his heart was thumping in his chest.

“Kenma, I love you! I love you so much, oh my gosh, I’ve loved you for so long!! Hahaha, it feels so good to say it, Kenma, I love you!!” Kuroo gasped and began his usual wheezy cackle, the one Kenma had been hearing since high school. 

He loved that laugh, so, so much. 

Or, perhaps, it wasn’t the laugh he loved. It was the person laughing.

“I love you too, Kuroo.” Kenma whispered.

“Thank you, Kenma,” was the last thing Kuroo said, before he began gently snoring into his mattress. 

What a silly man-child.. Kenma thought to himself, yet even Kuroo’s childishness was simply endearing to Kenma.

Kenma found himself drifting off too, his head swirling with ‘I love you, I love you, I love you!’

And he feel asleep to the sound of Kuroo beside him, content with the thought that Kuroo probably wouldn’t even remember this tomorrow!

***

As usual, Oikawa was positioned in front of his computer monitor, his default pouty expression on his face. He would most certainly get his coffee date with the delivery boy today, whether he liked it or not. It was a pleasant Saturday morning, and Oikawa knew that his delivery boy worked today. He’d scheduled it. It had been a week and one day since what was now referred to as ‘The Dildo Incident’ and Oikawa had been ordering masses of packages to ensure that the delivery boy would be unable to evade him.

Not that Iwaizumi was trying to evade him at all.

He blinked down at his hands, and couldn’t help but notice they were shaking just a little- but Oikawa didn’t get nervous. Of course not. Such a perfect human doesn’t experience things such as ‘nerves’.

Then there was that knock.

No sound in the world excited Oikawa more.

He skipped to the door, swinging it open just like he would any other day.

“Ah! It’s you!” Oikawa feigned ignorance.

Iwaizumi had all of Oikawa’s space paraphernalia stacked up in his arms. Just as Oikawa had planned, of course.

“Oops, hehe~ seems like I ordered a little much! Would you mind bringing it in for me? Stay for a coffee if you want!”

Iwaizumi thought his attitude was kind of irritating. He was a pretty boy through and through. Annoying or not, he was amused to see where this would go.

And he couldn’t deny that Oikawa was hot. 

“Just dump the packages on the table!” He chirruped, “Sit wherever! I don’t mind~” Everything was going just to Oikawa’s plan. As if he’d even give the delivery boy an opportunity to refuse!

He sat the coffee pot down on the table, and positioned himself opposite his not-so-secret crush. 

“Thanks! I really can’t stay long, but I appreciate the coffee.” He grinned at Oikawa, his piercing hazel eyes making the other boy’s cheeks flare red.

Oikawa didn’t know how long he could remain composed in front of someone so sexy.

“Ah, sorry about all the mess! I’m not used to inviting strangers into my house, haha, unless it’s to have sex!”

There goes the composure.

“Oh, uh- but this isn’t a sex thing though! Ahaha, of course not, I mean-“

“It’s not?” Iwaizumi was surprised. He was a straightforward man, minus the straight part. Oikawa’s display of abs at the door several weeks ago was undeniably promiscuous. 

“I mean- it can be if you want!?”

This was by far the weirdest conversation Iwaizumi had engaged in all week. He did see something cute in Oikawa losing his bravado, however, despite his weirdness.

Before Oikawa even had time to compose himself, Iwaizumi was pinning him to the sofa, pulling the doe-eyed boy’s shirt off, not even giving him a chance to think about it. Iwaizumi ran his fingers down Oikawa’s abs, releasing the desire he’d been feeling to touch them since all those weeks ago, when Oikawa had exposed his chest at the door. 

“This is all your fault for turning up at the door in a towel.”

“Ah!” All Oikawa could do was moan erotically, as Iwaizumi ran his tongue through the crevasse of his collarbone. He really was a whiny bottom. 

“Ha-Ah!” A gasping moan left his throat, precum wetting his boxers as Iwaizumi flicked his tongue on Oikawa’s nipples. A hot flush of arousal spread across his pale chest. 

Panting with the sheer exertion of it all, he began unbuttoning Iwaizumi’s white shirt, yanking it off of him, desperate to see his tan chest in all its muscular glory. A small growl left his throat as Oikawa ran his fingers down his chest, to his waist, to the tiny trail of hair leading down into his pants, to his cock, pulling his pants down and circling the head of his cock with his little pink tongue. 

Just as Oikawa prepared to thrust Iwaizumi’s dick into his throat, which was an area he definitely had experience in, Iwaizumi’s phone rang.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Iwaizumi whined, instantly pulled out of the moment by responsibilities. Oikawa quickly pulled away, yanking his t-shirt back on as Iwa-chan fumbled for his phone (and pants).

Neither boy had ever been so disappointed in their lives.

“Hanamaki? What do you want?”

Hanamaki?? Oikawa was slightly confused. Did they both know a Hanamaki?

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t get Mattsun to leave? He’s got a hangover? Well tough on him. Enjoy babysitting duty!” 

Iwaizumi gruffly cut the phone. As he turned around to apologise to Oikawa, and to arrange another day to have sex, he remembered.

“Oh my- Oikawa? You know Matsukawa and Hanamaki?”

“Huh? Yeah? Who even are you- oh my God, I was going to have sex with someone who’s name I didn’t even know-“

“Before introductions, can we make a revenge plan for that pastel-haired idiot and his boyfriend?”

“Oh. Um, sounds good to me~” Oikawa grinned slyly. 

_Hm._ Thought Iwaizumi. _Perhaps I could get on with this guy._

***

Yet again, Kenma woke up alone. His roommate had already gone off to her job. Not that she’d fill the gap anyway, kind as she was. This was a different kind of loneliness. 

Maybe Kenma wasn’t so content with the knowledge that Kuroo probably didn’t even remember last night’s phone call.

Maybe he wasn’t content without his favourite person being here with him. 

Maybe he’d never be content falling asleep without the sound of Kuroo by his side.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Kuroo even remember his confession? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT-


End file.
